In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in
all directions.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their
own skin.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today--no ice cream.
On a small utility knife in MIT's lab supply: Caution. Blade is sharp.
Keep out of children.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
For best results, wash in cold water separately, hang-dry and iron with
warm iron. For not so good results, drag behind car through puddles,
blow-dry on roof rack.
IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your
clothes when the light goes out.
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please
bring it back or further steps will be taken.
IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and
stand upside down on the draining board.
ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side
entrance)
OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing
machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful
bargain.
QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be
drowned. By order of the District Council.
NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for
more than 30 days will be disposed of.
IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know
it, there is a day care on the first floor.
NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free,
but the bull charges.
MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how
to get lessons.
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the
door - the bell doesn't work)
SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
RESTAURANT WINDOW: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get
fed up.