| Who Said it: | Quote: | Submitted by: | Date Submitted: | Time Submitted: (Eastern Time) |
| Fry | This is like that drug trip I saw in a movie..when I was on a drug trip. | Paul | 07/15/2003 | 13:04 |
| Zapp and Kif | Zapp: Which Law, Kif?
Kif: Ugh...Brannigan's Law. |
SJ | 07/7/2003 | 20:42 |
| Fry and Leela | *watching a 3D movie*
Fry: Wow, the 3D is great! Leela: *arranging her glasses* Mine don't work...? (I didn't get it at first...^__^) |
Samantha, the boy wonder! | 07/6/2003 | 20:08 |
| Fry and Bender | Fry: 'Uh Bender, where is your bathroom?'
Bender: 'Bath what?' Fry: 'Bathroom' Bender: 'What room?' Fry: 'Bathroom!' Bender: 'What what?' |
Lia | 07/1/2003 | 13:14 |
| Ms Pacman | (When Pacman is killed) NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Wakka wakka wakka* nuuuu, *sobs*. | Tori | 07/1/2003 | 10:38 |
| BENDER/FRY | Bender: It was horrible! A nightmare!
Fry: What happened? Bender: I dreamt I was in a place of 0's and 1's and all of a sudden... I saw a two *whimper* Fry: It's ok Bender, don't worry. There's no such thing as 2's. |
Tori | 07/1/2003 | 10:37 |
| ME | < |
MikoKikyo777@aol.com | 06/28/2003 | 20:50 |
| Fry and His gramma in the past | Fry: If it makes you feel any better, his body was vaprized so there no chance he'll come back as a zombie
Fry's Gramma in the past:I'm not worried about that*Crying* Fry:Then you are a braver woman then I |
Kagome Higurashi | 06/28/2003 | 20:48 |
| Joey Mouse Pad and Bender | Mouse Pad: Are you tryin to steal from the Don Bot
Bender: I'm tryin but he's not making it very easy. |
Earth Man | 06/25/2003 | 17:03 |
| Bender | Some breaking occured, the dolly was involved. That's all we know! | EarthMan | 06/25/2003 | 16:58 |
| Robot guy | Robot man(whats his name? the famose robot in the show): Get your Tricicle off me you damn dirty ape! | Dragon6 | 06/25/2003 | 01:16 |
| professor and lunch lady | Professor: Would you like to see my senior citizen discount car?
Lady: Sir, this card has expired. Professor: But it's good for a life time! Lady: Well yours expired. |
asdf | 06/25/2003 | 00:23 |
| Bender and Pharaoh | Pharaoh: Tell the slaves that they all can go...
Bender: Go faster? I told them, but they are so damn lazy. Pharaoh: No, I mean, they are all free... Bender: Free loading off you? I agree. Pharaoh: Uhhhh.... *dies* |
Inu-Yasha | 06/24/2003 | 23:22 |
| Bender and Fry | Bender: Hmm. My antenna moved. It doesn't seem to get good reception here. Maybe I should wiggle it a little.....
Fry: No, Bender! You will make God cry! |
Inu-Yasha | 06/24/2003 | 23:21 |
| Farnsworth and Fry | Fry: What?! I can't swallow that!
Prof. Farnsworth: Good news everyone! It's a sepository! |
Dragon6 | 06/24/2003 | 18:33 |
| Zoidberg being questioned | Inspector: Well, you have two options, either you come in peace, and prepare to be dissected. Or, if you come to take over our planet, we surrender.
Zoidberg: A win win scenario! WHo cares! Im meating new people! |
Dragon6 | 06/24/2003 | 18:31 |
| Zoidberg being dissected | Zoidberg:TAKE TAKE! I've got four more!
sceintist:Stomach Contents...a Deviled egg. Zoidberg: A DEVILED EGG!! *eats egg* Scientist: Same Deviled egg. |
Dragon6 | 06/24/2003 | 18:28 |
| Fry and Leonard nemoy | Fry: We've decided to work together!
Leonard Nemoy: Uhh, so have they. Leela and William shatner:*kiss*ahh*smooch* |
Dragon6 | 06/24/2003 | 02:02 |
| Bender | OK, but I don't want anyone thinking we're robosexuals | asdf | 06/23/2003 | 23:13 |
| Slurm Queen after Fry finds out what Slurm is made of | Honey comes out of a bee's behind. Milk comes out of a cow's behind. And you don't want to know where toothpaste comes from! | Mei | 06/23/2003 | 09:08 |
| Alien leaders (referring to "I wuv u" heart candy) | This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! | Andre | 06/22/2003 | 14:19 |
| zoidberg | i've had it with this game, im going for a skuttle... | sarah | 06/22/2003 | 08:31 |
| Zap Brannigan | Brannigans law is like Branigans love. Hard and fast | Iain | 06/19/2003 | 20:53 |
| Bender | "its just as well he come from a unverse thats big on musical theatre if you know what i mean" | Iain | 06/19/2003 | 20:52 |
| Zoidberg & Fry | Zoidberg - "Now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain."
(Fry opens his mouth) Zoidberg - "No, not that mouth, the other one." Fry - "Er.. I only have one." Zoidberg (Facinated) - "Really?.." Fry - "Could I see a human doctor?" Zoidberg - "Young lady, I'm an expert on humans. Now open your mouth and say, 'Vvrrooddd-diii-dooo-ddii-dddooiih!!'" Fry - "ahem.. 'Vrro-diii-doo-dii-diii-ddddoo!!' '" Zoidberg - "WHAT?? MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!!! GET OUT!!!" |
Zenith | 06/19/2003 | 05:37 |
| Bender | Hey i've got a busted ass here but i don't see anyone kissing it! | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:17 |
| Bender | Well, somebody's being awefully aluminum | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:16 |
| Bender | I've personalized each of your meals. Amy, you're cute, so I baked you a pony! | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:15 |
| Bender | When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Steam Shovel! | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:15 |
| Bender | That's no flying saucer! That's my ASS! | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:14 |
| Bender | Welcome to the Bender express making stops at were ever the hell I feel like | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:14 |
| Bender | Ah, Let's face it, comedy's a dead artform. Now tragedy,*laughs* That's funny! | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:13 |
| Bender | Ahh, computer dating. It's like pimpin, but you dont really have to use the phrase, 'upside your head' | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:12 |
| Bender | Stupid can opener! You killed my father and now you've come back for me! | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:12 |
| Bender | I never made anybody's life easy and you know it! | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:11 |
| Bender | Court’s kinda fun, when it’s not my ass on the line.
|
Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:11 |
| Bender | Fry, in order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a big 400 ton booty. | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 17:07 |
| Bender | Fry, in order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency, I need a girl with a big 400 ton booty. | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 16:37 |
| Bender | Naw this week I'm on caught on tape three cuz of what I did in the coffee pot | Graff_Vynda-K | 06/18/2003 | 16:34 |
| Farnsworth | You were all for preserving Hitler's brain, but putting it inside a shark's body...THAT'S GOING TOO FAR!! | Kikyo | 06/18/2003 | 14:40 |
| Hermes | My Man-wich! | Kikyo | 06/18/2003 | 14:27 |
| Zoidberg | I'm sooo into you! | Kikyo | 06/17/2003 | 07:55 |
| zoidberg | whoop whoop whoop whoop whoo | bob | 06/16/2003 | 19:17 |
| Hermes and Co. | Hermes:
When i was two there was a hurricane in Kingston Town with a foot and a half of water Everyone was alright, but I cried all night It blew my alphabet blocks out of order And they say this boys born to be a bureaucrat born to be all obsessive and snotty I made my friends and relations fill long applications to get into my tenth birthday party Labarbara: But something changed when my man turned pro Hermes: I was sorting but I wasn't smiling Labarbara: He forget that it's not about badges and ranks Hermes: It's supposed to be about the filing! People, We didn't choose to be bureaucrats No that's what almighty Jah made us We treat people like swine and make them stand in line Even if nobody paid us They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats They say we're anal, compulsive and weird But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love Even if it's not a good idea Zoidberg! Zoidberg: They said i probably shouldn't be a surgeon Farnsworth: They poopooed my electric frankfurter Leela: They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye Bender: I am Bender please insert girder Hermes: Everybody sing Jamaica! All: Jamaica! Hermes: Just the bearuacrats - Jamaica! Bureaucrats: Jamaica! Hermes: Just the grade nineteens! Morgan Proctor: Jamaica. Hermes: Sing me home, When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love Even if it's not a good idea! Bender: I am Bender, baby, please insert liquor!!! |
Kikyo | 06/15/2003 | 21:55 |
| Fry | you cant give up hope just cus its hopeless, you gotta hope even more, and cover your ears and go BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...I"D ALSO LIKE A PACK MULE!!!! | Kikyo | 06/15/2003 | 21:45 |
| booger | your momma | ahahah | 06/15/2003 | 03:39 |
| Chicken, Bender and Judge | Chicken (to bender): I may be a simple country hyper-chicken but I know when we're finger-licked. What do you say we plead insanity?
Bender: A few months in an insane asylum? I could do that standing on my head. Chicken: If you start now, it might help our case. Judge: Counselor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity? Chicken: Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them. Judge: Insanity plea accepted! |
Mathias | 06/14/2003 | 15:57 |
| Fry (looking for bender) | Fry: To the ship!
Leela: Why don't you just walk? He was only about 20 yards from here. Fry: Madame! I am in command now! Zoidberg: Such a man. I'd follow him to hell and back i would! |
Mathias | 06/14/2003 | 15:40 |
| Fry (while bender was captain) | Fry: No fair! Leela was training me to be captain, she even let me sit in her lap and steer...in this comic i drew (takes out the comic)
Zoidberg: UUhh the new one's out! (takes the comic from fry) |
Mathias | 06/14/2003 | 15:37 |
| Roberto | Roberto: what's the matter? you scared??!?!
Fry: N..n..n.. Roberto: Noticably? I'll say, now stand back i gotta practice my stabbin! |
Mathias | 06/14/2003 | 15:32 |
| Professor | Shut up friends! | Yurishoo | 06/13/2003 | 04:01 |
| Bender | FatBot : I Heard That In One Single Night You Drank A Hole Keg Streaked Across Campus And Crammed 15 Humans Into Phonebooth.
Bender : Yeah Well Most Of Them Were Children |
Kn0x | 06/12/2003 | 01:43 |
| Fry | (to Bender)- hey, why are all those kids following you, Do you have candy stuck to your ass? | Darren | 06/10/2003 | 15:39 |
| Zoidberg | So he's not perfect. You don't want to end up old and lonely like ZOIDBERG!!!!! [cries] Now what were you saying? | dj gs68 | 06/9/2003 | 22:45 |
| Zoidberg | [singing]
When I was two, there was a tidal wave in...[too late, ending credits start] Ohh... |
dj gs68 | 06/9/2003 | 22:44 |
| Bender | [singing]
Fry cracked corn and I don't care, Leela cracked corn, I still don't care, Bender cracked corn and he is great! Take that you stupid corn! |
dj gs68 | 06/9/2003 | 22:44 |
| . | Femputer: Femputer sentences them...to death!
[everyone gasps] Femputer: ...by snu-snu! Zapp and Fry: Yay! Kif: Ahh! Zapp: What are you, gay? |
dj gs68 | 06/9/2003 | 22:42 |
| Fry | Oh... Did everything just taste purple for a second..? | Mike | 06/9/2003 | 21:29 |
| Fry | "here's your pizza" I'd say, "I didn't order any," they'd say, and then I'd be off to my next adventure! | Kikyo | 06/9/2003 | 18:02 |
| Zoidberg | The President is dead...congraduations Mr.President! | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 21:02 |
| Zoidberg | *overacting* GOOD MORNING! MR. VICE PRESIDENT! | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 21:01 |
| Leela | I always kne id die at the bottom of a pit, BUT A PIT OF TAR?!? | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 21:00 |
| Zoidberg | Frends help ! a guinea pig tricked me! | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 20:58 |
| Fry | Im sure their God will let them out, or atleast give them more shoes to eat | Kiyko | 06/8/2003 | 20:37 |
| Zim / Dib | (This quote has nothing to do with Futurama)
Zim: I've had enough of you and your smelly mouth full of.....CORN! Dib:*confuzzled* but I havn't been eating corn?! Zim: LIAR! *shoves Dib out window* |
JhonenV's insane stalker | 06/8/2003 | 20:36 |
| Leela / Fry | Leela* feeding Nibbler * awww...somebody likes snouts
Fry: is it me? |
Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 20:32 |
| Fry | Drugs are for losers, and hypnotism is from losers with big, weird eyebrows! | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 20:28 |
| Robot as Cpt. Hawkeye Pierce of M*A*S*H | *sad* this isn't a war its a murder....*imitating marks brother* this isn't a war its a moyder | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 11:40 |
| Farnsworth | Each pound of dark matter weighs over 10,000 pounds | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 11:35 |
| Bender | I have this thing called gaydar.
|
Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 11:29 |
| Giant Pharaoh Bender Statue | REMEMBER ME!*FIRE* REMEMBER ME!*FIRE* REMEMBER ME!*FIRE*..... | Kikyo | 06/8/2003 | 11:27 |
| dunckly | lmao | herman | 06/6/2003 | 15:50 |
| Bubblegum Tate | i thought you new that algerbra was all razzmatazz! | Kikyo | 06/5/2003 | 20:43 |
| Zoidberg | *singing* when i was two the was a tidal wave in...*credits*....aww... | Kikyo | 06/5/2003 | 20:42 |
| Bender | he's whippin' angels now *sniff* | Kikyo | 06/5/2003 | 20:41 |
| Zoidberg | things were bad but now they are good forever! | Kikyo | 06/5/2003 | 20:40 |
| Bender | i have emerged from the place of spells and fairies | Secnarf Regnets | 06/5/2003 | 20:39 |
| Professor, Leela and Hermes | Leela: I don't know what you did, Fry, but now all the planets in the galaxy are gonna be crackin' wise about our Mommas...
Hermes: I'm just glad my fat ugly Mama isn't around to see 'dis day... Professor: Enough about your promiscious mother, Hermes... |
Trichocyst | 06/4/2003 | 08:15 |
| Bubblegum Tate | You are ALL fools to the highest calibur! | Trichocyst | 06/4/2003 | 08:13 |
| Zap and Lila | ZAP : And on that ship, did you happen to have sex?
LILA : ...yes ZAP : And who in this room did you have sex with? LILA : Zap Brannagon ZAP : Ah hah! The same zap brannagon that did not blow up the space base. |
El Nikko | 06/3/2003 | 17:03 |
| Professor | This is going to be one hell of a bowel movement. He'll be lucky to have any bones left | Vash | 06/3/2003 | 09:55 |
| N/A | professor- where is ziodberg?
zoidberg- *comes riding in on a sperm cell* you'll never guess where ive been! |
Bob Dole | 06/3/2003 | 09:13 |
| Zap | "we are all from different cultures here. Some of you are black, some of you are white.... You're brown.... and you're silver!! But i don't care if your skin in red, tan, or Chinese." | Jay | 06/1/2003 | 12:04 |
| Zoidberg | Now Zoidbergs the popular one! | hmmm | 05/31/2003 | 22:57 |
| Bender | Maybe you can interface with my ass! By biting it! | dj gs68/G2 | 05/20/2003 | 21:03 |
| Zap Brannigan | I find the most erotic part of a women's body is the boobies | victor | 05/17/2003 | 01:06 |
| Zapp, Fry | Zapp: I simply had to outsmart them.
Fry: Wow I never would of thought of that. |
Vash | 05/16/2003 | 13:09 |
| Fry, Bender | Bender: What's that black cookie thing you're eating?
Fry: A tomato |
Vash | 05/16/2003 | 13:07 |
| Leela, Bender | Bender: They're tasty lets call them tasticles
All: Eww! Leela: That sounds too much like those frozen rocky mountain oysters on a stick.. you know Tastcicles |
Vash | 05/16/2003 | 13:05 |
| Leela | He's bulging with what could be muscle | Vash | 05/16/2003 | 13:03 |
| Leela | He's bulging with what could be muscle. | Vash | 05/16/2003 | 13:01 |
| N/A | Fry: How did the last men die?
Amazon: Crushed pelvises |
vash | 05/15/2003 | 12:47 |
| Bender | Is the space pope reptilian?! | Vash | 05/15/2003 | 12:46 |
| N/A | Amazon: You will see our leader
Fry: Is she hot Amazon: That not important she all knowing Fry: In other words no |
Vash | 05/15/2003 | 12:44 |
| Kif Kroker | (Reding Zapp's Pick-up line book)
I find the the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies. |
Vash | 05/15/2003 | 12:42 |
| Zapp Brannigan | Ha Ha Ha you're killing me
(wacks head with club) Oh you're killing me |
Vash | 05/15/2003 | 12:40 |
| Leela | Quit scratching you axe-hole and get back in there | Vash Savuram | 05/15/2003 | 12:38 |
| Kif Kroker | If I said you had a great body would you take off your clothes and dance around. | Vash Savurum | 05/15/2003 | 12:36 |
| Zapp Brannigan | The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. | Vash Savuram | 05/15/2003 | 12:35 |
| Bender | Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own lunar lander! With blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing. | dj gs68 | 05/14/2003 | 22:30 |
| Bender | Well, I'll go build my own my own theme park! With blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the park! | dj gs68 | 05/14/2003 | 22:29 |
| Prof. Farnsworth | Now to begin the arduous task of attatching it to the ship so that...[TIME SKIP!] Off you go, apparantly! | dj gs68 | 05/14/2003 | 22:28 |
| Lucy Liu-bot | It's amazing the way you NOTICE TWO THINGS. | dj gs68 | 05/14/2003 | 22:25 |
| Hermes | What are you hacking off? Is it my torso? IT IS! MY PRECIOUS TORSO! | dj gs68 | 05/14/2003 | 22:24 |
| Various people | Fry: *snore*
Leela: "Oh!" Bender: "Oh my god!" Fry: *tap* "Eh?" Professor: "What the hell have you done Fry?" Fry: "Relax. She can't be my grandmother! I've figured it all out." Professor: "Of course she's your grandmother you perverted dope! Look" Mildred: "Come back to bed dery." Fry: "Waa! It's impossible! If she's my grandmother, then who's your grandfather?" Professor: "Isn't it obvious? You are!" Fry: "Aaaaa! Aaaaa! Aaaaa!" |
dj gs68 | 05/14/2003 | 22:23 |
| Bender, Leela | Bender: Harpoon, my ass!
Leela: Okay! [harpoons Bender's ass] |
dj\ | 05/14/2003 | 22:22 |
| Bender | What's the point of living if I can't say "ass"? [GASP!] | dj gs68 | 05/14/2003 | 22:22 |
| Bender | Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourself! | Cthulhu | 05/13/2003 | 23:04 |
| Fry | That wasn't cowardice!! | Jason | 05/13/2003 | 15:29 |
| Bender | I would give up my 8 other senses, even smision, for a sense of taste! | HAL | 05/8/2003 | 12:44 |
| Beck | Bender, that was the best 40 minute washboard solo i've ever heard, and the parts i was awake for blew me away. | HAL | 05/8/2003 | 12:39 |
| Beck | I'm sorry that song doesn't normally last 3 hours but we got in to a serious thing and then i forgot how it ended. | HAL | 05/8/2003 | 12:38 |
| Fry | Space.....it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorrilla starts throwing barrells at you. | HAL | 05/8/2003 | 12:34 |
| Fry | I wanna cry but i'm too macho! | HAL | 05/8/2003 | 12:33 |
| The Proffessor | Holy Zombie Jesus!!! | Nata-lie | 05/8/2003 | 11:47 |
| Trying to wake up Farnsworth | Fry: Bender, try shocking him.
Bender: Your checks bounce. Stuff costs more than it used to. Young people use curse words. Fry: Dammit! This isn't working. We'll have to fix the engine ourselves. Leela: We can't you bastard, it's impossible |
Baka | 05/5/2003 | 00:32 |
| Prof. Farnsworth being taken away by robots | Goodbye, cruel world.*walks forward a little, then stops* Goodbye, cruel lamp.*walks to window and stops* Goodbye, cruel curtain lined with what appears to be cruel muslim. Goodbye cruel tassels. Cruel though they may be-*robot picks him up and carries him away*...oh | Baka | 05/5/2003 | 00:29 |
| Bender after getting brain back | I'm Bender, baby! Please insert licquer!! | Baka | 05/5/2003 | 00:27 |
| brainless Bender | I am Bender, please insert girder | Baka | 05/5/2003 | 00:25 |
| Leela and her date | Date: Nice eyeball, eyeball.
Leela: Nice ass, ass. |
Xavier | 05/1/2003 | 17:45 |
| Professor | Prof: Now what I have to say is shocking, so anyone with a weak heart should leave the room. Goodbye. | Xavier | 05/1/2003 | 17:44 |
| Zoidberg ( after flying monkeys left him behind) | "What, do I smell or something?" (sniffs self) "...oh." | yourmama | 05/1/2003 | 13:59 |
| Don Bot | Pleeding Man: Please, Don bot can't you search your hard drive and command dot run your sympathy file?
Don bot: File Not Found (Shoots him) |
Jackmccw | 05/1/2003 | 10:02 |
| Fry | Leela: But you're a robot, you don't even have a sense of taste.
Bender: I wouldn't talk about taste if i was wearing a lime green tank top! Fry: BAM! |
Katt | 05/1/2003 | 01:05 |
| Fry and Bender | Fry: I bet Leelas waiting for a nice guy with one eye.
Bender: That'll take forever. What she should do is find a nice guy with two eyes, and poke one of them out. |
Xavier | 04/30/2003 | 14:45 |
| Professor Farnsworth and The slurm tour guide | Prof: Who are those horrible orange men over there?
Guide: Why they're the Grunca Luncas. They work here in the slurm factory. Prof: Tell them I hate them! |
Xavier | 04/30/2003 | 14:39 |
| Leela | Leela: Okay Alquezar, I have one more question. If you could cahnge shape, why didn't you change it in the one place that really counts? | Xavier | 04/30/2003 | 14:37 |
| Fry and Leela | Fry:...letting my waste lie where ever it falls like an animal at the zoo.
Leela: Actually, animals go in the corner. Fry: The corner! Why didn't I think of that? |
Xavier | 04/30/2003 | 14:33 |
| Fry and Bender | Fry: Four identical castles!
Bender: Each more identical than the last. |
Xavier | 04/30/2003 | 14:32 |
| Slurms McKenzie | Slurms: WHIMMIE-WHAM-WHAM-WAZZLE! | Xavier | 04/29/2003 | 15:26 |
| Fry | Fry: At first I thought ultimate robot fighting was real, like professional wrestling. But now I know its fixed, like boxing. | Xavier | 04/29/2003 | 15:25 |
| Prof | Prof:(on phone)So how did he die? (pause) To shreds you say. And hows his wife? (pause) To shreds you say. | Xavier | 04/29/2003 | 15:24 |
| Slurm Queen and Servant | Servant: But master, she is a commoner! Her slurm will taste fould and bitter!
Queen: Thats why we'll market it as New Slurm! Then, when everyone hates it, we'll realease Slurm Classic, and make millions! Muh-hahaha! |
N/A | 04/29/2003 | 15:20 |
| Professor and Fry | Prof: Do I hear wedding bells?
Fry: What!? No! Prof: Oh, my. (puts hand over ear) |
Xavier | 04/29/2003 | 15:18 |
| Fry | I am SHOCKED! Well, no that shocked. | Xavier | 04/29/2003 | 15:15 |
| N/A | Leela: Change the channel, a political debate's on!
Bender: Wow, Fry said the same thing when it started. |
Baka | 04/29/2003 | 00:00 |
| N/A | Bender in hobo clothes: Hey, I'm one of those lazy robot bums I've been hearing about. Can you point me to the free booze? | Baka | 04/28/2003 | 23:56 |
| N/A | (standing near a robotic santa)Bender: Well, I don't believe in Santa. If you don't believe, he can't hurt you! (the robot Santa hits his head with the sack of toys)
Bender: Oh god, the pain! |
Baka | 04/28/2003 | 23:54 |
| Fry and the Beastie Boys | Fry: Wow, back in the twentieth century, I had all five of your albums.
Beastie Boy: That was 1,000 years ago. Now we have seven. |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:32 |
| fry and lur | Lur: Overall we give it as C+. Okay, not great. In return, we will ont destroy your planet, but neither will we give you our secret of eternal life.
Fry: Way to over act, ZOIDBERG. |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:30 |
| Fry an Amy | Fry: So whats the weather like?
Amy: The usual. Molten lead, seas of hot lava. Fry: So what, shorts? |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:26 |
| Voice at the begging of one episode | Futurama is breought to you bny: Arachnospores! The fatal spore, with the funny name | Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:25 |
| Leela and Hermes | Leela: Who were yiou talking to?
Hermes: Meself. I asked meself for a day off, but I couldn't take any more of me shinanigans. |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:23 |
| Bender | Bender: Leela save me! And yourself I guess. And my banjo. (pause) And Fry. | Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:22 |
| Bender and Robohooker | Bender: Stupid anti-pimping laws!
Robohooker: We love you Bender. Bender: Shut up, baby. I know it! |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:20 |
| Bender | Bender: (to Fry) Now normally I charge $500, but since I know you...I'll have to ask you to pay in advanced. | Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:19 |
| Bender and Leela | Leela: So how much?
Bender: $500 Leela: Deal. Bender: Zapp Branigan okay? Leela: NO! Bender: Six hundred. |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:18 |
| Bender and Leela | Bender: So you think its a coninscidence that Zoidberg is horribly poor AND desperately lonely?
Leela: I'll have you know its because hes hideous. Zoiderb hangs his head |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:17 |
| Fry and Leela | Fry: I'm not a one woman man!
Leela: You'll be back to zero soon enough. |
Xavier | 04/28/2003 | 16:13 |
| Intro Caption | Soon to be a major religion | HAL | 04/25/2003 | 12:48 |
| Intro Caption | Any Resemblance to actual Robots would be really cool
|
HAL | 04/25/2003 | 12:48 |
| Intro Caption | NOT AFFILIATED WITH FUTURAMA BRASS KNUCKLE CO.
|
HAL | 04/25/2003 | 12:48 |
| Intro Caption | PRESENTED IN DOUBLE VISION (WHERE DRUNK) | HAL | 04/25/2003 | 12:46 |
| N/A | Leela: Bender, are you watching a cooking show?
Bender: no,no its...porno. |
HAL | 04/25/2003 | 12:37 |
| Bender | Hey—guess what you’re accessories to! | a_neonta | 04/24/2003 | 17:35 |
| Fry, eating Popplers | They’re great! They’re like sex, except I’m having them! | a_neonta | 04/24/2003 | 17:34 |
| Bender | Great is ok, but amazing would be great! | a_neonta | 04/24/2003 | 17:34 |
| Bender | Blackmail’s such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The x makes it sound cool. | a_neonta | 04/24/2003 | 17:34 |
| Bender | This is the worst kind of discrimination—the kind against me! | a_neonta | 04/24/2003 | 17:33 |
| Zapp Brannigan | In the olden days I proudly fought alongside female troops, shoulder to, uh…shoulder. Alas, after a series of deadly blunders caused by distracting low-cut fatigues and lots of harmless pinching, the army decided women weren’t fit for service. Not when I’m in charge | a_neonta | 04/24/2003 | 17:33 |
| N/A | Professor: "I'll be sending us, 'us' meaning 'you', back with Zoidberg's to his home planet which will soon be erupting in an orgy of invertabrate sex."
Fry: "Hooray!" Leela: "Do you even know what the word invertabrate means?" Fry: "That's not the word I'm worried about. Hey everyone! Did you hear that? pants are optional." |
Pat | 04/24/2003 | 14:07 |
| Zap | You'd sacrifice this beautiful woman for a moderately attractive ape? You've been smoking some bad granola! | HAL | 04/24/2003 | 14:03 |
| Zap | Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast | HAL | 04/24/2003 | 14:01 |
| My Broken Friend Song | Bender: People say my broken friend is useless.
But I say his mind is free. There's lots of things my mangled robot friend could be. Beck: Kick it! Bender: Well he could make a good hat rack, Beck: He only has to stand there. Bender: Or a cheap doorstop, Beck: He doesn't need to move. Bender: Or a great big giant thermos with a twist off top, Beck: That would be good for soup. Bender: He could be a storage closet for outdated pants. Beck: I like 'em tight. Bender: My broken friend could do it all, Beck & Bender: Just give him a chance! Bender: That robot has a tragic secret That I'd like to share. Beck: For real? Bender: My broken friend is closer to me Than an ass to a chair. Beck: Mmmm. Bender: That robot's name I never told you, you could not foresee. Beck: C'mon, give it up. Bender: I say it loud and sing it proud, Beck & Bender: His name is you and me! Bender: Don't melt me down into a crowbar, Beck: It suffers alone, Bender: Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs. Or toss me into a trash can, Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs. Don't crush me into an anchor, Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing I'm telling you, my broken friend... Put your hands in the air like you just don't care! I'm telling you my broken friend Can do most anything! Yeah! |
HAL | 04/24/2003 | 14:01 |
| Whalers on luna park | We're whalers on the moon,
We carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales So we tell tall tales And sing our whaling tune. |
HAL | 04/24/2003 | 13:59 |
| Bender | oopsies | geez_304 | 04/23/2003 | 19:20 |
| Bender & Fry | Bender: (asleep) zzz..Kill all humans. kill all humans..zzz
Fry: Hey bender wake up! Bender: i was having the most wonderous dream. you were in it. |
HAL | 04/22/2003 | 13:48 |
| Prof Fransworth | 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,..,5,6,7,8,9,10,11..... | HAL | 04/21/2003 | 09:47 |
| Bender | Thats a good thing. Walking on sunshine sucks noodles! | HAL | 04/21/2003 | 09:31 |
| Intro Caption | Filmed on location | HAL | 04/19/2003 | 15:52 |
| BENDER | Keep it down in there I'm trying to tune my banjo | HERRI | 04/15/2003 | 19:49 |
| Robertro | What's the matter Red you scared? Noticabley. Stand back I've got to pracitce my stabbin'! | Herri | 04/15/2003 | 19:48 |
| Fry | With breath as fresh as a summer ham | Herri | 04/15/2003 | 19:47 |
| Neutral Leader | i have no strong feelings either way. If i die tell my wife hello | Herri | 04/15/2003 | 19:46 |
| Zapp | Rock crushes scissors, but paper covers rock, and scissors cuts paper. Kiff we have a conundrum. Search them for papers, and ah bring me a rock | herri | 04/15/2003 | 19:45 |
| N/A | You are entering the vicinity of an area, adjacent tot he location, the kind of place where there might be a monster or some kind of weird mirror. of course these are just examples and it could be something much better. Prepare to enter THE SCARY DOOR! As per your request please find enclosed the last man on earth. | Herri | 04/15/2003 | 19:44 |
| Zap | Zapp: Oh and Kiff, have the BOY lay out my formal shorts.
Kiff: The boy sir? Zap: You, you lay out my formal shorts |
Sigsy | 04/15/2003 | 11:30 |
| Zapp | If we can hit this bullseye, all the dominos will fall like a house of cards...checkmate! | Andrew | 04/10/2003 | 01:53 |
| Zapp | She's built like a steakhouse, yet handles like a bistro! | Andrew | 04/10/2003 | 01:52 |
| zapp | the quickest way to a girls bed is through her parents,have sex with them and your in | zapp182 | 03/9/2003 | 09:36 |
| zapp | i've studied abroad,..or two | zapp182 | 03/9/2003 | 09:34 |
| scruffy | wow,i've never seen him so down,..or ever before | zapp182 | 03/9/2003 | 09:32 |
| female poppler monster | would you like some human with your salt? | zapp182 | 03/9/2003 | 09:29 |
| Fry | I'll kill you too, buddy. I'll kill you too. | zilla | 03/1/2003 | 21:58 |
| Hermes | My Manwich! | zilla | 03/1/2003 | 21:56 |
| Zapp | Zapp: Kif, I'm feeling the captain's itch.
Kif: Ohhh. I'll get the powder, sir. |
The Zapper | 02/19/2003 | 04:41 |
| Zapp and Kif | Zapp: Kif, when my woman returns, I won't have much time for the boys anymore.
Kif: That's a shame sir. Zapp: Let's make the most of our time together shall we. (Silence) Nevermind. Just give me a back rub. Kif: Ohh. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:44 |
| Zapp | Zapp: Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the sky. | The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:40 |
| Zapp | Zapp: Call me cocky, but if there's an alien I can't kill, I haven't met him and killed him yet. | The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:39 |
| Amy | Amy: Let's take Leela out tonight. There are plenty of places to meet people.
Hermes: The Federal Sex Bureau. Bender: A saucy puppet show. Zoidberg: The rotting carcass of a whale. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:36 |
| The war debate | Bender: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I refuse to fight. I'm a conscientious objector.
Fry: A what? Bender: You know, a coward. Zapp: (on TV) Since this is a full scale war, all robots will now have their patriotism circuits activated. (presses a button) Bender: It is every robot's duty to give his life for the good of humanity. Aw crap. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:34 |
| Zoidberg | Zoidberg: I could spin you in a high speed centrifuge seperating the denser fluid of his majesty from your body.
Fry: Wouldn't that crush my bones? Zoidberg: The bones, the bones, I always froget about the bones. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:26 |
| Lurr | Lurr: You know McNeal, she is a human female struggling to succeed in a man's world.
Zapp: Maybe that's her excuse for being incompetant. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:22 |
| Zapp | Zapp: Our mission is simple. Destroy all aliens.
Kif: Er, not me, sir. Zapp: Er, right. Nobody destroy Kif. (Hushed) Unless you have to. (loud again) Whoa oh, the luscious captain Leela. This is turning into one very sexy struggle for the future of the human race. Leela: Thanks, but I'm not technically human. Zapp: Right, right. Nobody destroy Leela either. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:20 |
| Femmputer | Femmputer: Kif, being deemed the most attractive of the men, shall have snoo-snoo with all the most beautiful women of Amazonia. Then the large women. Then the petite women. And then the large women again.
Kif: Ahhhh! |
Mr.G | 02/18/2003 | 08:18 |
| Characters in Amazonia | Femmputer:Each of the men shall receive...death!
Fry,Zap,Kif:Ahhhhh! Femmputer:By snoo-snoo! Fry,Zap:Yay! Kif:Ahh! Zap:What are you,gay? |
Mr.G | 02/18/2003 | 08:16 |
| Leela | Leela: Well at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip down and get on the probulator. | The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:15 |
| Zapp | Zapp: Captain's log, stardate...er..
Kif: Ohhh. April 13th. Zapp: April 13th. Point 2. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:13 |
| Zapp | Zapp; You're all from different backgrounds. Some of you are white, some of you are black. You're brown. And you're silver. But you're all going to have to learn to die together. | The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:11 |
| Zapp | Zapp: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You'll practice bed making until you can do it in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm actually sleeping in it? Zapp: You won't have time for sleeping soldier. Not with all the bed making you'll be doing |
Will | 02/18/2003 | 08:08 |
| Zapp | Zapp: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You'll practice bed making until you can do it in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it? Zapp: You won't have time for sleeping soldier. Not with all the bed making you'll be doing |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:04 |
| N/A | Zapp: Kif, show them the medal I won.
Kif:(points at Zapp's medal) Ohhhh. |
The Zapper | 02/18/2003 | 08:01 |
| Zapp | Kiff: sir it's an emergency.
Zapp: come back when its a catastrophe. Kiff: sir, remember that course correction you made? Zapp: No. Kiff: It's proving a little more suicidal than we'd initially hoped. Zapp: I don't know what annoys me more, kiff. your cowardice or your stupidity. we'll simply set a new course in that empty region of space over there, near that blackish holish thing. |
Peter | 02/17/2003 | 08:44 |
| Neutral planet leader | Neutral planet aid: the baise alert is going off, sir
Neutral Planet leader: if i dont make it out of this alive, tell my wife, 'hello.' |
N/A | 02/3/2003 | 13:28 |
| Leela to the courtroom | your honor, it was all true. my female incompetence, Zapps cat-like reflexes, the stuff that made no sense, all of it. | rob | 02/3/2003 | 13:26 |
| N/A | Leela: wow, aren't you Zapp Brannigan? you stopped the fleet of kill bots, right? how did you do it?
Zapp: it was simple really. Kill-bots have a preset "kill limit", once they reach this limit, they shut down. knowing their weakness, i just sent wave after wave of our own men into battle against them, once they killed them all, they were effectively shut down. |
rob | 02/3/2003 | 13:24 |
| the Professor | dark matter, so heavy that one pound of it weighs *111 metric tons* (some really high number) | rob | 02/3/2003 | 13:17 |
| in Robot hell | Fry: how can we save bender?
Devil Robot: there is no way, now sign this contest waver form. Fry: alright, ill... Leela: (smacks fry) what contest Devil Robot: (sigh) im legalling obligated to inform you of a fiddle contest, if you can play the fiddle better than me, than bender can go free. also you get a solid gold fiddle. Fry: but wouldnt a solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds and sound like crap? Devil Robot: yeah, its mostly for show. Leela: and what happens if we lose. Devil Robot: then you get a smaller silver fiddle...eh and i get to kill one of you. (points at Fry) him. Leela: well do it. |
rob | 02/3/2003 | 13:14 |
| N/A | George Washington's head: so Bender, why did you sell your body?
Bender: same reason as you George Washington's head: ah, booze money |
rob | 02/3/2003 | 13:07 |
| Fry to Richard Nixon's head | Fry: Please Mr. Nixon were appealing to your sense of decency.
All : (laughter) |
rob | 02/3/2003 | 13:05 |
| N/A | Mutant: We need to sacrifice an unspoiled virgin.
Leela: I volunteer! Mutant: Thanks Leela, but we've all seen Zapp Brannigan's web site. |
Gooch | 01/4/2003 | 11:53 |
| N/A | [On Zapp Brannigan]
Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths. Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him? |
Gooch | 01/4/2003 | 11:52 |
| Fry and Dr. Zoidberg | Dr. Zoidberg (to Fry whos guzzling beer): Whats with all the beer?
Fry: i am a robot, beer is my fuel. Beep... beep... beep... (or something like that)beep... (then Fry falls and tips the couch onto him, snoring) |
Kitty | 12/31/2002 | 05:32 |
| N/A | Zapp Brannigan: Well i guess there's no choice now but for the captain to go down with his ship.
Kiff: That's very noble of you sir Zapp Brannigan: No, it's very noble of you (tears off badge and slaps it on kiff) You're the captain now, congratulations. |
Elise | 12/3/2002 | 06:32 |
| Bender | Fine! I'll go make my own amusement park. With Blackjack, and Hookers...Actually, forget the park. | Scott | 12/3/2002 | 06:30 |
| N/A | Woman(to bender): Your thoughts are even being transmitted onto my cellphone.
Benders voice on phone: Wow, that lady's got a huge ass. Bender: They could be anyones thoughts fatass. |
Scott | 12/3/2002 | 06:27 |
| N/A | Leela: Bender, why did you jump in the slurm?
Bender: Everyone was doing it, i just wanted to be popular. |
Scott | 12/3/2002 | 06:24 |
| Fry | It's like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All winter long the grasshopper collected acorns while the octopus sat on the couch watching tv and mooched off his girlfriend. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns, and he also got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you? | Scott | 12/3/2002 | 06:22 |
| N/A | Zap Branniger: tell the boy to fetch my pants
Kiff: The boy, sir? Zap: You... you fetch my pants. |
Elise | 12/3/2002 | 05:57 |
| Zap Brannigan (about Leela) | i'd be all over her like a fly on a pile of very seductive menure. | Elise | 12/3/2002 | 05:54 |
| Giant Brain | you tricked Tom Sawyer. Painting this fence is less fun than previously indicated! | fiona | 10/30/2002 | 14:50 |
| Fry | Now he's trapped in my book- a crumby world of plot loops and spelling errors! | fiona | 10/30/2002 | 14:49 |
| the professor | Happiness is perpendicular to delirium | fiona | 10/24/2002 | 14:48 |
| N/A | Suicide booth: Please select mode of death- quick and painless or slow and horrible. Fry: Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call. Suicide booth: You have selected: Slow and horrible. Bender: Great choice! |
BeeBee | 10/8/2002 | 07:32 |
| N/A | Zapp: Kiff, I feel the Captain's Itch!
Kiff: Nnnnggzz... I'll get the powder sir... |
BeeBee | 10/8/2002 | 07:31 |
| Bender | These balls are making me testy!!!! If they don't stop bouncin' 'n' jigglin' I'm gonna shove this genie up their- wait a minute... Where do you shove things up a ball? | BeeBee | 10/8/2002 | 07:30 |
| Zapp Brannigan | A little lower Kiff... lower... lower... a lot lower...
Too low!!! ... lower...... |
BeeBee | 10/8/2002 | 07:29 |
| Zapp Brannigan | I suffer from a very sexy learning disability...what do I call it Kiff?
Kiff: nnnggzz.... sexlexia |
BeeBee | 10/8/2002 | 07:28 |
| Bender | Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending. | Jim | 05/7/2002 | 21:40 |
| Intro Caption | BIG PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE AFTER THE SHOW | Jim | 05/7/2002 | 21:39 |
| Fry | Well, thanks to the internet I'm completely bored with sex. | Fletch | 04/18/2002 | 10:01 |
| N/A | Zoidberg: I'm going to cut you here in the gonads. (points to Fry's neck) Fry: No one correct him! No one correct him!! |
Fletch | 04/18/2002 | 09:59 |
| N/A | Bender: Elzar will teach me to cook!
Elzar: Absolutely not! Number one, your antenna's in my crotch. Number 2, I hate you. Number 3, you're terrible at cooking. Bender: What was number one again? Elzar: I hate you. Bender: I thought that was number two. Elzar: I kicked it up a notch. Bam! |
Kevin | 04/14/2002 | 22:17 |
| Bender | The pie is ready. You guys like swarms of things, right? | Kevin | 04/14/2002 | 22:08 |
| Prof. Farnsworth | Yes, it's a scale model of the world's largest bottle. I put a tiny spaceship in it to keep it from being boring. | Kevin | 04/14/2002 | 22:07 |
| Intro Caption | IF ACCIDENTALLY WATCHED, INDUCE VOMITING | Kevin | 04/14/2002 | 22:01 |
| Hermes (on Planet Express stock) | It's worth less now than when it was worthless! | Kevin | 03/31/2002 | 22:29 |
| N/A | Mom: Don't be a fool, you idiot!
Fry: I'll be whatever I wanna do. |
Kevin | 03/31/2002 | 22:27 |
| Fry | Believe it or not, I have more important things to do today than laugh and clap my hands. | Kevin | 03/31/2002 | 22:27 |
| N/A | Bubble Gum Tate: I think we got ourselves an excess of choronotons in the subatomic interstices.
Professor Farnsworth: Yes, I see! Something involving that many big words could easily destabilize time itself! |
Kevin | 03/29/2002 | 02:31 |
| Intro Caption | FOR PROPER VIEWING, TAKE RED PILL NOW | Kevin | 03/29/2002 | 02:30 |
| N/A | Bender: I was God once.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died. |
Kevin | 03/17/2002 | 22:39 |
| N/A | Tiny alien living on Bender: The time has come to convert the unbelievers.
Bender: Convert them? Tiny alien: To radioactive vapor! |
Kevin | 03/17/2002 | 22:38 |
| Fry | You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless. You've gotta hope even more, and cover your ears and go "Blah blah! blah! blah!" | Kevin | 03/17/2002 | 22:37 |
| Fry | Wait a minute! Bender's name's not Bonder. It's Bender. You're a fraud! | Kevin | 03/17/2002 | 22:35 |
| some monks | Let us out! We cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them. Now we're bored. | Kevin | 03/17/2002 | 22:34 |
| Native Martian Leader | You must smoke peace pipe, and you must do it peacefully, or we'll kill you. | Kevin | 03/3/2002 | 22:25 |
| Bender | Oh YOUR god!!!! | Eiran | 03/2/2002 | 20:53 |
| N/A | Fry: Hey! Letters like 'u' and 'r' can mean words, like 'you' and 'are'! Leela, U R @ cute.
Leela: Perhaps. What's your point? |
*Jennifer* | 02/22/2002 | 22:29 |
| Leela | Bender, Ship, stop arguing or I'll come back there and change your opinions manually. | Kevin | 02/11/2002 | 00:46 |
| Leela | There's no place like- I wanna be a witch! | Leela | 01/8/2002 | 22:11 |
| Zapp Brannigan | In the game of chess you must never allow your opponent to see your pieces. | Maro | 12/18/2001 | 01:38 |
| Bender | Bite my shiny metal ass. | Becca | 12/1/2001 | 14:10 |
| N/A | Bender: "I wouldn't talk about taste if i was wearing a lime green tank top!"
Fry:"BAM!" |
Mowls | 11/30/2001 | 07:17 |
| Zap Brannigan | Here lies the greatest soldier I've ever seen since my mirror got grease on it | Kevin | 09/9/2001 | 22:15 |
| N/A | Soldier: This is the worst part; the calm before the battle.
Fry: And then the battle's not so bad? Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle. |
Kevin | 09/9/2001 | 22:12 |
| N/A | Leela: 0101100101? What does it mean?
Bender: Eh, it's just gibberish. [sees reflection in mirror] Bender: 1010011010?!?!? Aaaah! [Runs away, screaming] |
Kevin | 09/9/2001 | 22:11 |
| Zap Brannigan | Uh huh, uh huh, that's whatever you were talking about for you. | Kevin | 09/9/2001 | 22:09 |
| Zap Brannigan | What's the matter, private? Tent got your tongue? | Kevin | 09/9/2001 | 22:09 |
| N/A | Fry: Oooh! Big Pink! It's the only gum with the breath-freshening power of ham!
Bender: And it pinkens your teeth while you chew! |
Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:11 |
| N/A | 7-11 cashier: That'll be 40 cents.
Fry: I believe you're forgetting about our 5 percent military discount... 7-11 cashier: Well that's only for people in the military Bender: What? This is the worst kind of discrimination- the kind against me! |
Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:11 |
| Hermes | I don't want you to worry about your jobs while you're away. That's why I'm firing you now. | Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:10 |
| N/A | Soldier: Why is this God-forsaken planet worth dying for?
Zap Brannigan: Don't ask me. You're the one who's gonna be dying. |
Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:10 |
| N/A | Richard Nixon's Head: We are now in position above Spheron One. This is the moment we were training for all yesterday afternoon.
Zap Brannigan: And now for the battle plan. As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise. Surprise! [Pushes a button and a trap door opens, dumping the soldiers onto the planet's surface] |
Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:09 |
| Guy that sounds like Radar from MASH (on PA) | Incoming wounded! All personnel report to operating tent four! Repeat, four! I mean five! Repeat, four! | Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:09 |
| N/A | Zoidberg: I'm afraid he's gone.
Patient: Whoa, doc! I ain't dead! Zoidberg: Excuse, me. I believe I'm the doctor. |
Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:07 |
| Fry | Okay! I've gotta break down that gate, beat up those three guards, steal that chopper, and rescue Bender... Hey, I did it! Wait! That's not me. | Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:07 |
| Brain Ball | The elders tell of a young ball much like you. He bounced three meters in the air. Then he bounced 1.8 meters in the air. Then he bounced FOUR meters in the air. Do I make myself clear? | Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:06 |
| Fry (Bouncing on bouncy ball) | At last, war has made me into a man! Wheeeeheheheheee!
|
Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:06 |
| Henry Kissinger's Head (to Fry) | Young man, you have the bravery of a hero- and breath as fresh as a summer ham! | Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:05 |
| Intro Caption | TOUCH EYEBALLS TO SCREEN FOR CHEAP LASER SURGERY | Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:05 |
| N/A | Fry: You can move! You're cured!
Bender: Oh, crap. It's a miracle. |
Kevin | 08/18/2001 | 01:04 |
| Kiff | Mix those mixed nuts. I see two almonds touching. | Kevin | 08/16/2001 | 15:30 |
| N/A | Bender: Sir, I volunteer for a suicide mission, sir!
Zap Brannigan: You're a brave robot, son. But when I'm in command, every mission's a suicide mission. |
Kevin | 08/16/2001 | 15:23 |
| Fry | This is great! I haven't had time off since I was 21 through 24. | Kevin | 08/16/2001 | 15:21 |
| Zap Brannigan (to space fighter fleet in a battle) | Stop exploding, you cowards! | Kevin | 08/16/2001 | 14:29 |
| Zap Brannigan | She's out of control! You win again, gravity. | Kevin | 08/16/2001 | 14:28 |
| Sign in window of Earth Army recruiting center. | JOIN THE ARMY. WHAT ARE YOU, CHICKEN? BUK BUK BUK | Kevin | 08/16/2001 | 14:28 |
| Sign in laundromat window | No shoes, no shirt, what are you washing? | Kevin | 08/16/2001 | 14:27 |